Why do I keep thinking about one comment from my manager after work?
In a meeting, your manager hears your proposal and says, “This version is not ready yet.” You note the revisions and continue with the meeting. That evening, the words keep returning. Are they disappointed in me? Will they trust me with the next task?
“Do not overthink it” does little to show why you cannot let this go. I would begin by separating the parts of the experience.
What was said, and what did you hear?
“This version is not ready” is feedback on a piece of work. “I am not good enough” may be the meaning you added. Both deserve attention, but they are not the same statement. What, specifically, did your manager want changed? Did it hurt most to hear that the work needed revision, or to fear that you were not valued as a person?
A cognitive behavioural perspective looks at links among an event, its interpretation and the feelings that follow. The aim is not to think your hurt away, but to make a quick conclusion visible enough to examine.
What is the working relationship like?
In a team with clear standards and room to ask questions, “not ready yet” may be feedback you can discuss. If standards keep changing, people give conclusions without reasons, and asking a question might be seen as incompetence, your unease is also related to the environment. The World Health Organization identifies excessive demands, limited control and lack of support as workplace mental-health risks.
I would therefore ask whether this feedback was unusual or part of a pattern, and how much room you have to clarify expectations. We should not place everything an organisation needs to address on one person’s ability to “adjust their attitude.”
One small thing to do tonight
Write down three sentences: what was actually said; how I interpreted it; and what I still need to clarify. You may find that tomorrow you need to ask what should change in the proposal. Or you may notice that similar comments repeatedly stir up a familiar self-doubt. Both are worth exploring.
For me, a workplace difficulty is rarely only a matter of “thinking too much.” Understanding your feelings alongside your role, relationships and working environment leads to a next step that better fits your situation.
If a comment at work keeps making you doubt yourself, you can bring the specific feedback to a session. We can look at the words, what you felt, the judgement that followed in your mind, and whether you can clarify what the team expects.
Further reading: APA: approaches to psychotherapy; WHO: mental health at work.