Why does criticism hurt so much? Am I too sensitive?
Suppose a manager points out a problem in your proposal in front of colleagues. You know it can be revised, but your face grows hot and you barely hear what follows. Afterwards you criticise yourself: “Other people can take feedback. Why does this upset me so much?”
Before calling yourself “too sensitive,” look at what made the experience painful.
The hurt may be about more than a mistake
A manager who clearly explains what needs changing and discusses it with you privately offers a different experience from someone who says in front of everyone, “How could you fail to do even this?” The first offers information about work; the second may also leave you embarrassed or disrespected.
I would want to know whether you felt most hurt, ashamed or worried about losing trust. How would you have wanted the work to be discussed? Naming these things helps us see whether you need to revise a proposal, address a painful interaction, or both.
What kind of team did this happen in?
Because I study organisational behaviour, I also pay attention to the setting around an individual’s feelings. Are standards clear? Can you ask what, specifically, needs changing? When people disagree, can they discuss it, or are they blamed?
The WHO’s account of mental health at work identifies lack of support, poor management and unclear roles as workplace risks. An APA report on psychological safety at work considers whether employees feel able to speak up and receive feedback. Neither source can settle who was at fault in this particular incident. They remind us to understand a reaction in its environment.
If criticism feels like a judgement of your whole self
Sometimes someone points out one problem in the work, but you quickly feel, “I am not good enough as a person.” If this happens in different settings, we can explore what evaluation means to you and why disappointing others feels so threatening.
Earlier experiences may play a part, but one painful moment cannot establish a childhood cause. Even when self-doubt is familiar, an unhelpful way of giving criticism still deserves attention.
When the feeling eases a little, ask two questions. Which work requirement do I need clarified? Which part of the interaction particularly hurt me? They may call for different responses.
If criticism often leaves you overwhelmed, or you cannot tell whether you are being too hard on yourself or working in a chronically tense environment, you can bring one recent incident to a session. I look at your feelings, the content of the feedback and the team situation together, rather than simply asking you to be “less sensitive.”